Tuesday, January 13, 2009

ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME????

This next article I am about to post just sickens the living soul out of me. I hope this is a hoax but I am not sure. Anyway, basically this article talks about a cookbook that is full of recipes where the ingredients contain semen... yes SEMEN!!!! who on earth is going to sit there and think "hmmmm can I cook semen? I wonder how it tastes?" Even the concept is absolutely repulsive!!! I wonder if the author of this book tasted his own semen.... Is that flan down there made of semen??? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!
I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO insulted!!!! How dare they count semen as a culinary ingredient!! SHAME ON YOU!! Damn I'am soooo pissed!!! ugggghhh!!!
Exactly how dedicated are you to the concepts of recycling, scrimping and using all-natural products in your food?

If you're willing to put your money-shot where you mouth is, you'd send away for a copy of the cookbook "Natural Harvest," which goes into stomach-churning detail about how to store, prepare and serve semen as food.

Yes, it has really, erm, come to this.

"Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties," the book's description goes. "Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that."

And, yes, it appears to be a real book, and a second edition is already on the way.

Right off the bat, you get a recipe for a cocktail (a White Russian, naturally):

2 oz. vodka
1 oz. coffee liqueur
cream or milk
ice cubes
1/2 oz. semen

Then there are the "Creamy Cum Crepes," which are regular crepes filled with cottage cheese and two tablespoons of man juice. Yum.

I'm suddenly reminded of that Vice magazine where the guy ate frozen lollipops of his own man seed. (And then vomits profusely, if I remember correctly.)

And there are tips I'll bet you didn't know about cooking with sperm, like:

- Semen cooks like egg whites, not mayonnaise.

- If you want good-tasting semen, drink lots of ginger tea (at least that's what the chefs working on the cookbook found out for themselves).

- If you want to maximize your semen output, collect it after a restful night's sleep or extended

foreplay. Suddenly that Family Life class where you learned about "teaspoonfuls of ejaculate" makes sense, huh?

Intriguing or gross? Would any of you try a semen-based recipe? Let the innuendo-laden puns commence!

Info credit: Yahoo news

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, I don't think it is a hoax. Ugh, I can't believe someone took the time to write it. I mean it is bad enough that there is all this misguided info and beliefs about what semen can do and its nutritional contents! Can you imagine the poor nutritionst who had to calculate the caloric intake of semen...ewh! someone in sobe

SoHo said...

ha ha ha ha ha ha OMG That is soooo sick!! how can a second edition be coming out? ppl have way too much time on their hands...