Hilarious stuff people say at work

Kitchen humor is always hilarious. you spend most of your life at work than at home and these people at work become like your new family... you have to have fun at work and make each other laugh. I would like to share some of the most hilarious stuff i've heard at work from my co workers and boss. these people are hilarious!

1) "This is gonna be so good those people are gonna shit their pants"
2) "Hey! we're gonna make croquets. we're gonna roll them in egg and shit". ha ha ha ha
3) "Mayra you wanna play with my eggs?" "sure, why not?!" "I rather play with your cinnomon stick"
4) "Mayra is like a 1950's car... creates a lot of problems and drama but you still love it" "yeah i'm like a 1950's car, I bring drama but you love me so much you wont get rid of me" ha ha ha ha!
5) "wow these tacos are so good I wanna cry. look my tears want to come out!"
6)"hey you wanna be in our band? it's gonna be called "los mandados a la verga" (in spanish this means the fuck offs)" "no i dont want to be in ur band, who else is in it?" "Just me and Max" "oh, the
dynamic dual eh?" "yeah you have to start somewhere"
7) "it fits good in your hand doesnt it?"
8)"no it's easier for me if i flip it over and take it out from behind" "oh you like it from behind?" "hahaha oh yes!"
9)" sorry i didnt respond to your text last night. I was afraid if I replied we'd text all night and I was already kind of drunk. I was afraid if we kept texting I'd invite you to my apartment and boom boom"
"ha ha ha ha ha in ur drunken dreams"
10)" excuse me, can me and my big booty get by please?"
11) "why did you fall in love with him so fast?" "I think you mean why did HE fall in love with ME so fast... well, look at me... 26 waist, pretty face, big booty, how can he resist?"
12) "wow you're already here? you're the first one here and the last one to leave. you want me to get you a sleeping bag and put it in the parking lot so you can just sleep at work?"
13) Mexicans cant drink alcohol and stay sober, you want to know why? because in their body they have a gene that wont allow it. alcohol didnt originate in mexico, alcohol originated where it was meant for people who live in cold climates to stay warm, Mexicans dont need alcohol because their climate is already hot, that's why genetically they are not meant to drink alcohol, that's why a lot of them are alcoholics. they're body and genetic makeup is not meant to hold their alcohol intake".